It’s spring! Most of Team Faschionism are hibernating as the winter has been dramatically hard on us, but to tide you over while we decide how best to get the blog of fashion excellence up and running again, here’s the best sandals you will ever see in your natural life:
At nearly three hundred Euro these aren’t what you’d exactly call cheap, and even the less dramatically theatrical shorter and shinier ones are only half the price… which sounds good unless you realise that half of three hundred Euro is still a hundred and fifty Euro.
Still, what is spring for if not for fantasising about the kind of life where one can afford the kind of summery footwear that would make Hermes say “Wait, why do I need those, I have real wings?” — and here’s hoping at least one of you wins the lottery between now and the onset of really hot weather, so you can take us up on our recommendations.
I get where Del’s coming from with her complaints about Trainer Heels. A lot are being sold because of their “hidden heel” nature, where you get the adjusted posture of heels, but nobody can tell they’re heels (like Tom Cruise wears). But the ultimate failing of this footwear is that it’s fallen into the most horrific of holes that any clothing can: it’s a staple of high-street brands. Everyone has their own version, though there’s very little variation between them. Generic footwear kills fashion dead, and it pretty much has in this case… but then there’s Yohji Yamamoto, Adidas and Y-3:
To the left is the Oriah boot. It’s a trainer, it’s a wedge, but gone are the bland shape and colour choice. It’s not using an existing shoe as its basis like that awful Nike heeled trainer, it’s creating something new. The same applies to the current line’s Kyura trainer (see right), its a platform trainer, but doesn’t have a non-heeled equivalent, even in this line, and consist of colours you really will not see in the high-street.
Now I’m not going to pretend it’s all sweetness and light. There have been… questionable elements to the Y-3 line, but they are still something unique, not the homogenised white/cream trainer with suede or gold elements to it, or a conversion from another trainer like those dull Converse. Even when they used the Torsion shoe name, one of Adidas’s stalwart trainers, they end up with something unique, crafting trainer technology into the shape of a slip-on heeled ankle boot.
My favourite of the bunch is the Nomad, below, one of the prettiest hybrids between ankle boot and trainer – pretty to the point where people probably won’t even consider them a heeled trainer (they’d look superb with wet look leggings, and I’d love to rock them with Lip Service’s Altered Perception leggings, but that’s just me). What they serve to demonstrate is that it’s not the concept that’s wrong, it’s the continual lazy execution of it, using basic colours, uninteresting shapes. But people will keep buying them, even when Y-3 are still pushing the boundaries. So yeah, these hybrids of sports fashion and shoe fashion have some legs, but you just have to ignore the background noise and focus on the true signal:
These days I mostly only leave my flat to go to the gym, for a run, or out to hit people- I spend a lot of time in synthetic fabrics and ugly shoes. My esteemed colleague has saved you all from a bilious (and more importantly, not very funny) rant on trainer heels, to which all I would add is that if your shoes aren’t fit for walking home in, or administering an educational kicking, then they’d better be really damn cute.
But before I got off the sofa, and into an unfortunate relationship with black lycra, I used to spend a lot of time in dark corners, in an unfortunate relationship with black velvet, lace, PVC, leather, and every so often I have a relapse.
I didn’t actually mean to come home with these, but they’re comfortable enough to dance in, grippy enough to walk home in the rain in, and low enough that I can kick any way I like without falling on my arse. What more could a girl ask for?
Edit: price and shop details, apparently. £60 from Office, less 10% for students or the convincing liar (I should be over this at 30, but it’s the price of a silly coffee). I am also happy to add that they stand up to a night of stomping to dubious 90s alternative very well, did not shred my fishnets, and attracted compliments enough to make me consider a back-up pair. Buy them here.
Doc Martens did a pair of oilslick patent brogues in their blokes’ range last year, but haven’t brought them back for this Winter. What the hell, Doc Martens? The Argo boot (above) has sold out all sizes but two at Topshop in this colourway – holo leather is the thing at the moment because everyone loves the 90s, apparently! Get it together! And, um, restock my size, please.