All posts by Mordant

The life aquatic

So it all started with:

Jellyfish socks!

Jellyfish socks, £8 from The Fox In Socks.

Then someone pointed out this t-shirt, which I was naturally charmed by:


$15 from, who have many other cute t-shirts, all of which will be mine.

Then when I was looking for winter socks, I found:


Octopus socks, $12 from Sourpuss.

Suddenly it’s looking all too easy to become a walking aquarium!


Interesting underwear

I’m fairly boring when it comes to bras and pants- cheap and cheerful is usually the most I can be bothered with, especially if it has Hello Kitty on it (unless it’s a sports bra, in which case I am willing to invest).

But Marks and Spencers have brought out dark green silk underwear, which I always look for and never find-


I’m pretty sure the tag said something about it being machine washable, too, and it’s also available in a lighter leafier green, which sadly looks quite revolting on screen. All the relevant details can be found here.

Dressing as befits a woman of my age and station

These are the things that have been close to the top of my floordrobe recently:

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I have four of these skirts from Get Cutie in various obnoxious prints, though not the one above (yet). I thought about getting annoyed about having wide hips and being a heavy pear shape, then decided it was way too much effort, had a cup of tea and bought a nice flattering skirt instead.

We Love Colours. 50 colours of fishnets, plus tights, laces, and so forth. Every few months I buy a tangle of them (dark green and dark brown have been the most flattering so far, though there are also burnt orange and yellow pairs at home waiting for the right outfit). Also, stripy tights and plus sized fishnets. The quality seems OK, though I might not be the best person to comment since I’m perfectly happy to layer two or three pairs of ripped fishnets, especially when it starts to get cold.


Fun socks, for when your fishnets are on their way to the big bedroom floor in the sky. These are less good for the plus sized or muscular- I can generally just get into them, but find my thick calves distort some of the designs, and though the curvy knee sock section has improved dramatically, it’s still small enough that I’d rather force myself into regular sizes, just for socks like


(Oh, and just to clarify the title: I’m 30, and the clothes above have only gotten me frequent compliments, so I’d say I was doing something right).

This is Halloween

If I were to take this month as the usual excuse to stock up, this is what I’d have my lustful eyes on…skeletongloves

Skeleton gloves! £22 from ASOS.


These leggings AU$75 from Black Milk (beware the customs fee), to be worn with


This dress, £65 from ASOS (again). Having blown my shopping budget, I would be forced to raid my existing wardrobe for the heavy black boots and shrug that I think would look best with these. but I would be convinced I looked fabulous and have warm hands.

Some stains don’t come out

These days I mostly only leave my flat to go to the gym, for a run, or out to hit people- I spend a lot of time in synthetic fabrics and ugly shoes. My esteemed colleague has saved you all from a bilious (and more importantly, not very funny) rant on trainer heels, to which all I would add is that if your shoes aren’t fit for walking home in, or administering an educational kicking, then they’d better be really damn cute.

But before I got off the sofa, and into an unfortunate relationship with black lycra, I used to spend a lot of time in dark corners, in an unfortunate relationship with black velvet, lace, PVC, leather, and every so often I have a relapse.


I didn’t actually mean to come home with these, but they’re comfortable enough to dance in, grippy enough to walk home in the rain in, and low enough that I can kick any way I like without falling on my arse. What more could a girl ask for?

Edit: price and shop details, apparently. £60 from Office, less 10% for students or the convincing liar (I should be over this at 30, but it’s the price of a silly coffee). I am also happy to  add that they stand up to a night of stomping to dubious 90s alternative very well, did not shred my fishnets, and attracted compliments enough to make me consider a back-up pair. Buy them here.

In at the deep end

This may attract howls of derision from a significant chunk of the internet, but there’s a market for plus-sized sports wear. Black Milk are tiptoeing into it with swimming costumes like the above (available up for a size L, which fits my size 16 self pretty well) and others, including one with a dinosaur skull on it in sizes up to XL with an option for longer torsos, as well. Having to order from Australia to the UK and risk customs charges is pretty annoying, but if you’re sick of the usual high street offerings and want something to make you smile while swimming lengths, you could do a lot worse.